La Lengua

Dura lex, sed lex

11/29/2004

400



Como hemos cobrado los interinos, me he hecho un regalito, que es una costumbre que creo que no hay que perder. Rectifico: me he hecho dos regalitos.

Primero: el Diccionario de la Real Academia Española (22ª edición, 2001, 2 tomos). Me ha costado cuarenta y seis euros(46 ?). Ahora soy profe de Lengua Castellana y Literatura, y considero que para dicha profesión el DRAE es como una calculadora para el de matemáticas. Además, qué diablos, siempre he querido tenerlo.

Segundo: un Quijote para mí (la Primera Parte y la Segunda). Me mudo, no sé si os lo he dicho, y aunque andan por casa tres o cuatro quijotes, quiero llevarme uno propio a mi nuevo hogar. Es la edición del Cuarto Centenario editada por la Real Academia en colaboración con las Academias de la Lengua latinoamericanas. Las letras son grandes y agradables de leer. La tapa es dura y el papel, de biblia. Con artículos de... Bah, mirad el enlace.

Mejor aún: compradlo. Precio: nueve euros y medio (9,50 ?). Corred que se acaba.

11/28/2004

hongo


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Originally uploaded by Elias.gomez.

Hongos



Mi amigo noruego P. S., del que más de una vez os he hablado, tiene miedo de las setas. Dice "No sé por qué, Elí­as, pero es que son como del espacio: no son vegetales, no son animales... no sé lo que son".

Uno de los inconvenientes de vivir en Melilla es que el clima es demasiado seco. Llueve tres o cuatro veces al año nada más, aunque en grandes cantidades.

Ahora no ha llovido, pero ha hecho muchí­sima humedad. En los pinares de Rostrogordo han aparecido unas setas enormes como naranjas. Para un melillita es todo un espectáculo.

Y una oportunidad para recordar la literatura.

11/24/2004

Viviendo



Una cosa podemos decir acerca de la vida: conduce a una muerte segura.

Hoy he contratado un seguro de vida. Lo garantizan casi todo: la hipoteca, la invalidez, el infarto de miocardio...

Lo único que no me aseguran es la vida. Tal vez el seguro debería llamarse de otra manera. Bah, eufemismos estúpidos... (1, 2)

11/20/2004

El recluta, victorioso



Mi relato corto El recluta ciego (doc, pdf <- para leerlo en formato pdf necesitas descargar el programa Adobe Reader) ha obtenido el accésit de la 1ª Semana de Arte - Juventud en la modalidad de relato corto (como es lógico). El primer premio ha sido declarado desierto (no entiendo por qué, con lo que me gusta mi relato).

Actualizaré el post cuando los medios locales publiquen la noticia en Internet.

Saludazos.

- -

Actualización: Dos medios digitales ya se han hecho eco de la noticia del año: el Diario Sur aquí (se me puede ver en la foto, de negro, a la derecha del todo y con mi diploma bien agarraíto) y Melilla Hoy aquí (el enlace ha fenecido no se me ve, pero tampoco es que se pierda gran cosa, las cosas como son).

Además, me he comprado un premio, por majo que soy (y porque yo lo valgo).

Un poquito de por favor (IV)



Mis alumnos de 1º de Bachillerato saben perfectamente que el valenciano y el balear son dialectos del catalán. Otra cosa es que ni en la Comunidad Valenciana ni en las Islas Baleares se haya llamado nunca "catalán" a sus respectivas variedades dialectales. Tampoco entiendo que nadie deba sentirse ofendido por ello (el castellano es, o al menos fue, un dialecto del latín, y bien orgulloso que estoy).

Ahora un personajito dice a todo un presidente del gobierno: si no dices lo que yo digo no te apruebo los Presupuestos Generales del Estado. ¿Y qué hace el presidente? ¿Lo manda a la mierda? ¡No! Ordena a sus ministros que hagan el dictado del personajito.

Me recuerda a las viejas trifulcas de patio de colegio: el matón retorcía el brazo al empollón, y no dejaba de hacerlo hasta que el empollón declaraba: "¡Está bien! ¡Lo confieso! ¡Soy un moco gigante!"

Los Presupuestos Generales del Estado dependen de que se le ría la gracia al dirigente de ERC. Es triste, ¿verdad? Qué fea, qué fea es la política.

Se dice por ahí que cada pueblo tiene los políticos que se merece. Una de dos: o eso es mentira, o yo no soy español.

Sintaxis




11/14/2004

¿Evolución?



Todo el mundo sabe (y el que no lo sepa es que no le importa) que el mejor castellano que se hable o escriba hoy en día no es más que una corrupción del peor latín que se hablaba en Hispania en tiempos más romanos que los que vivimos. A colonizar la península no vino Cicerón, César ni Terencio, sino un montón de soldados analfabetos y mercaderes no muy preocupados por más cultura que la que les permitiera sumar.

¿Y a qué viene esto? Pues a que el otro día contaba en clase a mis alumnos -y casi todos me creyeron- la decadencia de la distinción entre el sonido de la elle y el de la y griega, distinción que actualmente sólo se realiza en reducidas zonas de la hispanidad. Yo, que fui criado en África, aunque creado en Madrid, nunca he sabido distinguir entre el sonido de calló (de callar) y el de cayó (de caer). Mis alumnos han descubierto, asombrados, que ellos tampoco notan la diferencia.

Estoy seguro de que, al igual que la b y la v corresponden actualmente al mismo sonido, el yeísmo también será general en unos cuantos años. Diez, veinte, quién sabe; pero creo que es irreversible.

El 90% de los hispanoparlantes vive fuera de España. De ese 90%, un porcentaje cercano al 100% sesea (es decir, que pronuncia servesa). En nuestro país, casi toda Andalucía sesea o cecea (de una manera u otra cazar y casar se pronuncian igual), al igual que casi todas las Islas Canarias. ¿Qué porcentaje de hispanoparlantes diferencia tales sonidos? ¿Hasta cuánto se mantendrá la distinción? Quosque tandem, Catilina, abutere patientia nostra?

¿Debe un 95% del colectivo humano que habla español considerar su pronunciación incorrecta?

¿Hasta cuándo se seguirá diciendo cerveza en Valladolid? Quosque tandem??

Humor y tragedia, o al revés



Estando yo que me estaba leyendo el foro de la página de Rodolfo, llegué a una de esas páginas que tendrían que estar en lo más alto de su categoría, si es que hubiese un ranking sobre el asunto en cuestión. El asunto en cuestión es el uso de la tragedia y la comedia a la vez. Es una amplificatio ad absurdum de ambas: no hay mayor tragedia que la que se contempla en cada una de las tiras; mayor comedia tampoco.

La página inicial es http://cheston.com ; no sé de qué va, ni me importa demasiado (algo sobre arte, creo). La dirección donde podéis encontrar estas muestras de miseria humana la tenéis aquí.

Mi preferida, probablemente: The tree of irony (el árbol de la ironía). Que las disfrutéis, amigos.

11/13/2004

Precolombino



Me acabo de enterar gracias a Barrapunto: la compañía de Bill Gates va a traducir su sistema operativo Windows y su suite Office al quechua. ¿No es...? No sé cómo es, ciertamente, pero algo emocionante sí me parece.

11/07/2004

Naufraguemos



El otro día emitieron en Telecinco la película de Robert Zemeckis Náufrago. A Zemeckis la gente de mi generación -eso creo- le suele tener bastante cariño, sobre todo por haber dirigido Regreso al futuro. Regreso al futuro: estoy convencido de que es uno de los iconos de mi generación (los nacidos mediando los años setenta). Creo que los acontecimientos que te marcan generacionalmente, como las películas, la música (a mí me encantaba Duncan Dhu, grupo que por cierto tomó el nombre de un personaje de R. L. Stevenson), los acontecimientos políticos (la caída del muro de Berlín, en nuestro caso) suceden en la etapa pre-adolescente.

Se suele considerar que la adolescencia, el instituto, la universidad, es lo que hacen una generación. En democracia creo que no ha sido así en España. Al menos para mis conocidos, la adolescencia es, a fin de cuentas y a toro pasado, una sucesión de borracheras, unidas por el hilo conductor de los exámenes, y aderezadas con algunas anécdotas que en el momento -en el momento de estar borracho- te parecen únicas e irrepetibles. La primera vez que te bajas los pantalones en mitad de la calle, estás convencido de que y sólo eres el autor de esa genialidad. Años más tarde, vuelves a las dos de la madrugada de casa de algún amigo y ves a un joven con los pantalones bajados, y muerto de risa: él también se cree superúnico. Pero nos estamos desviando mucho del tema.

Náufrago. He ido explicando a mis alumnos de 1º de Bachillerato que el lenguaje es una capacidad que tienen los seres humanos, pero también una necesidad. ¿Puede una persona vivir sin hablar? Tom Hanks, en la película, coge un balón, le pone de nombre Wilson, le pinta una cara y habla con él. Su necesidad no es tanto estar acompañado, como hablar: no se limita a dejar a Wilson clavado en una estaca y saludarlo, sino que le comenta el tiempo que hace, le consulta sus ideas, lo convierte en una persona al hablar con él.

Wilson acompaña al náufrago en su intento de escapar de la isla: el náufrago necesita hablar. Cuando Wilson cae por la borda, el náufrago grita desolado:

¡Lo siento Wilson! ¡Lo siento!

* * *


Cuando, de niños, la crueldad nos hace atormentar a las hormigas, solemos elegir una víctima y alejarla de sus compañeras: la hormiga no cesa de buscar más hormigas. Una hormiga aislada no es una hormiga, es una tragedia, una singularidad, yo qué sé. Nadie imagina una abeja emancipada, viviendo sola en un campo de flores, atiborrándose de polen. Tampoco puedo imaginarme a una persona.

Es imposible desligarse de la colmena.

11/02/2004

Olvido justificado



¿Cuál ha sido el olvido del que habla Elías?, preguntaréis tal vez. Pues el siguiente: el pasado veintiocho de octubre tuve dos cosas que celebrar: fue el cumpleaños de mi novia (perdón, de mi pareja, es decir, de mi compañera), y además hizo ya seis meses desde que dejé el tabaco.

Cuántas cosas me han pasado desde entonces... casi todas malas. Lo que no obsta para que el veintiocho de abril de 2004 sea para mí una fecha, como diría mi amigo Satch, mítica. Y no quiero engañar a nadie: dejar de fumar es una de las mejores decisiones que he tomado jamás.

Sigo sin leer casi nada. He comenzado La verdad sobre el caso Savolta, más que nada porque mis alumnos de 2º de Bachillerato deben leerlo y quiero guiarles bien. Lo único que he leído de Eduardo Mendoza es El misterio de la cripta embrujada, y fue en mi Bachillerato, no recuerdo casi nada, sólo que no me desagradó. Si no me falla la memoria, José C. recomienda a Mendoza. No se suele equivocar, pero ya os contaré.

Anda todo el mundo (y cuando digo mundo, realmente quiero decir mundo) preocupadísimo con las elecciones en los Estados Unidos de América (que es como se llama aquel país). Difiero con dos opiniones que se han convertido en verdades aceptadas:
  1. Las elecciones en EEUU son importantísimas en todo el mundo. Me explico: desde luego, lo que pase en cualquier rincón del planeta afecta al planeta entero. Si ese rincón es un país enorme, superpoblado y con gran poder económico y militar, lo que suceda allí tendrá más influencia en todos lados. Pero en el 99% de lo que me pasa diariamente es indiferente quién gobierne en América.
  2. La victoria de John F. Kerry supondrá una gran diferencia. Me vuelvo a explicar: demócratas y republicanos apoyan las intervenciones del ejército norteamericano en el extranjero. Los fabricantes de armas, grandísima industria, deben vender sus productos gobierne quien gobierne. Kerry y Bush mantendrán la pena de muerte. Bush y Kerry seguirán permitiendo que cualquiera pueda comprar un fusil de asalto. Kerry y Bush mantendrán las tropas en Irak (Irak, con 'k', por favor). A Bush y a Kerry sólo les preocupa un tipo de personas: las que pueden llegar a votarles. Por ellas hablan en castellano si es preciso. Los demás no les importamos.
Dicho lo cual, es cierto, yo también pienso que George W. Bush es tonto.

Os echo de menos, que conste, pero cada vez dispongo de menos tiempo. ¿El fin de La Lengua? Espero que no, por vuestro propio mal. Es broma.
 
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